Last night I threw some halibut on the grill (Grill Three, under the secret headquarters’ open-air rifle turret) for a special occasion (none of your business) and prepared a butter consisting of chipotle and lime. Normally I’ll just make a red wine butter reduction but certain foods, when said together in a sentence, suggest a […]
Recently this very site was overtaken by some evildoers and I had to fight them off with some fancy computer hacking kung-fu ( I sprayed their eyes with some olive oil from my special chrome mister). But we shouldn’t let this happen again, so here is my 7-step plan:
Keep your password safe. Write it down […]
Farts.
(Also, we want our own book.)
Later, fools!
The opportunity to see the light go out of your nemises’ eyes.
The only superhero who gets this privilege is the Punisher.
Lasers.
Lasers! And cool goggles, too.
When you take over an enemy’s website, nobody blames you, because it’s your job.
It’s what you do.
Henchmen.
Wouldn’t you be glad to have people take all your hits for you at work?
Inexplicably […]
It should go without saying that superheroes are vile and without any real negotiable value, but we’re here, so we’ll go ahead and say it: They’re terrible.
Over on our now-hostage website, we have made it pretty clear that superheroes can easily be douchebags, and, frankly, superheroines aren’t much better.
But we all already know that. Let’s […]
Hey everybody, I’m Captain Freedom!
I’m a big dumb idiot and I wrote a book and stuff and I’m gonna talk about it! Bleh bleh blah blah blah! Grooming, nerdgasm, etc.
Ha! We got you, didn’t we? Of course we did. Our uncanny imitation of that fool, Captain Freedom, totally had you going.
But we’re not that spandex-wearing […]
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