Missile Defense: I’m Lovin’ It

I believe in missile defense. It’s as simple as that. You have to consider the kinds of things that can attack us:

• neighbors having loud parties (you know who you are)
• asteroids
• giant ravenous mecha-birds
• the hands of an angry god coming down to smite us
• aliens (both illegal and extra-terrestrial)
• missiles
• anti-missile missiles
  and most importantly:
• anti-missile-defense-missiles

Plus look at the picture: the system is designed to create a replica of the Golden Arches.

No matter what, it’s way cheaper than covering America with a retractable roof like the Astrodome, which, considering the lack of consistent sunlight, would be devastating for my lawn.